Conflict Without Casualties
Sometimes leadership can feel like you are the teacher in the school yard trying to stop the bullies picking on the small kids. There again as a leader there’s a pretty good chance that there have been times where you have had to fights others to get your ideas listened to or even implemented. Those fight can be tough, and many don’t feel that they have it in them, but what if there’s a way to have Conflict Without Casualties?
Our guest today is one of the world’s leading experts in how to do “healthy conflict”
Dr. Nate Regier is the co-founding owner and CEO of Next Element, a global advisory firm specializing in building cultures of compassionate accountability.
A former practicing psychologist, Dr. Nate Regier is an expert in social-emotional intelligence and leadership, positive conflict, neuropsychology, group dynamics, interpersonal and leadership communication, organizational development, team building and change management.
He is an international adviser, certified in a myriad of techniques and processes and is the author of two books: Beyond Drama and his latest, Conflict Without Casualties.
On today’s episode he teaches us:
- Conflict is never easy. It’s always uncomfortable, but the problem isn’t in the conflict. It’s in our response to the conflict which tends to be justification. Justification is unnecessary when you’re doing the right thing though.
- Persecutors blame others for the conflict. “I’m the good guy. You’re the bad guy.” This dehumanizes the follower and closes the leader’s mind to other perspectives or insights.
- Rescuers focus on fixing other people’s problems instead of their own. They want to save you so they can be the great one and you can be grateful to them.
- When we’re in distress and in a conflict we think our value is determined externally. We think we’re only worthy based on how we come out of the conflict in contrast to the other person or people in the contrast.
- Helping without permission is a violation of human dignity. Victims will resent leaders for stepping in and “helping” in a conflict instead of working through it. There are better ways to offer help so that others have the chance to accept it instead of the help being forced on them.
I trust that you found this article valuable. If so feel free to send this to your friends. I eagerly anticipate your feedback and comments.
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With gratitude,
Dov Baron…
Copyright: Dov Baron International 2020
