What defines our REAL AGE? How old are you? It’s a question that most of us would shy away from asking. But have you ever thought about why that is?
The undeniable truth is that we as a society have been conditioned to worship youth and even shun the aging process. However, I see a deeper, possibly unconscious reason we shy away from admitting how old we are.
Age is poorly measured by the lines on a face and it’s an even worse way to measure maturity.
Let’s shift perspective: Think of someone you know (It could be you). Now, ask yourself how old does that person look? Looks can be deceptive, right? Now, thinking of that same person ask yourself how old does that person act? As I’m sure you are aware, some people are old (inflexible and set in their ways) before they have even reached 35. While other folks are playful, open and embracing learning into their 90's.
When it comes to leadership we must be very cognizant of every aspect of our age. For instance, it’s important to remain youthful and energized. (Leadership roles can be very wearing) It’s also important to also remember that authoritarian leadership is no longer effective. As such we cannot afford to behave (or look like we’re behaving) like spoilt children when we don’t get our way. From my point of view: In the run-up to the presidential election it’s had to find someone whose Real Leadership Age can match what’s truly needed for the position.
What’s Your Real Leadership Age?
Okay, let’s take this to a deeper level; consider this about that same person, (again it could be you): How old are they financially? Do they behave like an adult around money? Are they investing, saving, and spending within the range of what they earn? Or are they more like a child or an adolescent? Spending frivolously on the next shiny object, does money burn a hole in their pockets, and everything is about today? Do they have a “screw it, it will all work out” mentality? Maybe they, hide and horde money never fully enjoying it and they behave like an old miser. Here the question of how old you are you becomes more difficult to answer?
Next level: Emotional Intelligence and Self-knowledge
How old are you when it comes to Emotional Intelligence and Self-knowledge? Have you matured enough to be willing to look at the life you’ve been living and how you have behaved in that process?
Do you have the maturity to be truly self-reflective? Or are you childishly blaming others for what shows up in your life, or even for the way you behaved/reacted? Do you throw tantrums and literally or metaphorically stomp your feet because you can’t admit you were wrong?
At a level of emotional Intelligence: Are you sneaking around hiding parts of yourself or your lifestyle the way an adolescent hides their smoking or drinking from mom and dad? How old are you in the area of self-knowledge and emotional intelligence?
What about love and relationships?
How old are you when it comes to love? Are your relationships openly communicative and expressive, the way healthy adult relationships are? Are your communications clear about who you are, and what you need while being free from manipulation?
Is sex a way of adding to the intimacy you have with another person, while not being dependent upon it? Do you see your partner as a whole person, meaning you see and accept them, knowing that it’s NOT your job to fix them?
Do you have healthy boundaries with others? In your primary relationship do you both have healthy boundaries that you both honour? Do you have crystal clear communication about boundaries without making it about others? Do you honour those same boundaries with/for YOURSELF?
Can your words truly be trusted by your partner? Are you openly aware and communicative about your emotional wounds, without putting it on your partner to fix them?
Have you given your relationship time to deepen and develop? Or, are you behaving like a child or an adolescent? Or are you more “in love with the idea of being in love”? (Example: Are you in love because the other person is in love with you?)
Are your relationships out in the open or are you sneaking around, hiding them? Is your partner confused by the way you show love? For instance are you sending mixed messages? Does your partner complain that sometimes they feel deeply loved and cherished by you, and then in the next moment they feel like you are pushing them away?
As you can imagine I have picked only a few categories by which to identify your real leadership age. However, having read this you may now realize: “How OLD are you” is a multi-faceted question with many answers. Answers that very few have the maturity or courage to honestly answer.
So let me ask you, are you mature enough, courageous enough to truly answer the question…
What’s Your real Leadership Age? Looking forward to hearing your answer!
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Dov Baron is first and foremost “The Dragonist”. As The Dragonist, he teaches us how to recognize, find, retain and nurture dragons (top talent) hidden within our organizations.
Want to learn more about what Dov has to offer, and how you too can become a Dragonist in your realm? If you and your leadership team are dedicated to getting the result you set out to achieve in the most meaningful manner, bring Dov in to speak to your organization about the strategic advantages of Dragon Leadership. Go here to get started.
Copyright: Dov Baron International 2020