When the Past is Present…
It’s easy to tell yourself that the emotional upheavals in your life are “all in the past”, yet the question remains: Are they really?
When you stop and think about it much of our daily experiences are nothing than the same past experiences playing out in a new scenario.
What we don’t look at actually controls us; Because it becomes the undercurrent of our personality. It determines the future.
Just because “it” is in your past on a timeline doesn’t mean that you have actually let “it” go. Here’s a quick exercise.
Think about the last time someone cut you off in traffic, or some other equally frustrating behavior.
If you remember that you got way beyond mad … and into the range of pure outrage, that’s called a ‘disproportionate response.’
Simply put, it means that from an onlookers standpoint the incident might have rated a ‘3’ on an anger response scale; however, your reaction was more like a 6 or more.
And if you can’t remember a traffic incident, think of another time where you’ve become incredibly angry at the drop of a hat. (Even if, because you have become masterful at stuffing it no one else would know).
Anytime that happens, it’s a reliable indicator that there’s other ‘stuff’ that you’re upset about. Being outraged at this driver is just a safe place to express what you don’t feel safe expressing in another situation.
Bottom line: If you are having disproportionate responses, your past is not in the past at all and until you deal with “it”, it’s running your life! It will be what determines the future for you!
What we refuse to acknowledge about ourselves becomes the driving force for a destiny we may not desire.
Try this: Watch for disproportionate responses and ask yourself: “What might I be angry about that actually has nothing to do with this situation?”
There is magnificence within you… Who you are is so much greater than your history. However, until you look at your history you are destined to repeat it in one form or another.
If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to watch this video, where I reveal a key leadership tip:
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Dov Baron is first and foremost “The Dragonist”. As The Dragonist, he teaches us how to recognize, find, retain and nurture dragons (top talent) hidden within our organizations.
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With gratitude,
Dov Baron…
Copyright: Dov Baron International 2020
